she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Drunk walkin through police station. America
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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