so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
this hospital has no fireball
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
