Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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