3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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