We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
