"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
should my penis look like a turkey
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
