I wish you could order shots online.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
