are you still at the devil's house?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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