There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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