walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
