I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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