Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
