I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
