i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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