I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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