I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
