I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
