Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
