is your mom at the bar?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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