Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
