All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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