you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
