Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
