It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
