Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
