the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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