sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
