I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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