so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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