nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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