Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
