my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
