I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize