do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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