Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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