I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
