Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
