Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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