I want to stick my p in your. b.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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