Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
