Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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