He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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