I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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