real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
