then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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