Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
