New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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