Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
