covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize