Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
