Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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