well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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