Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
