that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is Oprah even human
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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