summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
