Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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