She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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