in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
