I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
