..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
