so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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