imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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