my vag is so smooth its legendary
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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