I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
