Plan B is the new Plan A
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
