dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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