Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
