yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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