We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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