Your tits are I can't wait for
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
