Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
