omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
