In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
