I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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