ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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