I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
